After my last post about what every millennial needs to know about marriage, I got a lot of questions, comments and emails from people who want more relationship posts. A common theme I found was a lot of you want to hear from Mike to get a man's perspective on things. Your wish, my friends, is my command. We had Mike's coworker ask him questions that girls are sick of trying to figure out on their own.
Here's what you need to know about relationships, from a man's perspective.
Take it away, Mike!
why don't guys listen?
Wait what did you ask? Just kidding :) I have learned, that men, in general, are not very good at understanding what is going on around them. A man's mind is generally able to focus on one thing and one thing only, and that one thing usually involves food or something funny... or sleeping. Women, on the other hand, remind me a lot of Jason Bourne (I love those movies), able to know everything that is going on around them at all times. Even if they don't know how they know everything they know, they just know it. The advantage a man has in this situation, is that when he chooses to listen to a woman, you can pretty much guarantee he is listening to you with 100% undivided attention, because he is physically and mentally incapable of thinking of anything else, even if he tries! Men do, however, have the ability to understand how important it is to pay attention to women when they are explaining why something is bothering them.. there is a small sensor inside a man's brain that can detect when he needs to pay attention to a woman. And when that goes off, the man is then able to listen - it is a wondrous thing.
If a guy is playing games with you, it means he isn't ready for a serious relationship and only wants to have "fun". Period. Guys that play games are not interested in a relationship.... they're interested in other things I am not going to write. ;)
why do guys play dumb when girls make hints?
Guys don't play dumb, we are dumb. This is not pretending. We do not think we are being judged for the lead role at an audition for our school play. We just don't understand "hints" women make. Men are very black and white. If you like a guy, say to him, "Hi there, I like you. Would you like to kiss now?" At that point, a guy will understand you are interested (hopefully). If he still does not fully get it, he may think you are teasing him. If he acts shy and bashful, this is your opportunity to carpe diem (seize the day) and get him.
By the same token, even after you are married, ladies, you need to make sure you are being direct if you want something. However, you should still be sneaky about it and make the guy feel like it's his idea to take out the garbage, not yours. Do I see the trash can is full and little Billy can't fit his paper plate in there because it's packed with last night's dinner scraps that didn't get eaten?? Yes, I see them! Just make me think it's my idea to take them to the garbage. And appreciate me when I do a job well done - you'll get more out of me that way.
Are guys capable of being fully committed to just one person on all levels emotionally, physically and mentally?
Men are, although you may not agree with me, capable of being emotionally, physically and mentally committed to just one woman. How does this happen, you may be asking yourself. This happens, when the man realizes he is making a choice, on his own free will, to be with just one woman for the rest of his life (and beyond that if that's what you believe, as I do). A man has to understand, that once the rings are on the fingers, that's it. You don't "court" members of the opposite sex anymore - that time is done. Now is the time to focus on strengthening your relationship with your spouse. The most important thing a man can learn regarding this topic, is this: when in a healthy and loving relationship, the grass is NOT greener on the other side. The way you keep your side having the greenest grass, is by putting each other first, always. Living selflessly is how you keep the happiness and love alive. A man works hard at his job and when he comes home, he is happy to see you and the kids (if applicable). He doesn't mind doing chores and helping around the house either! He just needs a good ole' fashioned smooch when he walks in the door, and he wants to feel like you're excited to see him. It is scientifically proven, that when you smooch your guy when he comes from a hard day's work, he will start to understand your riddle-like hints and he will not only take out the trash, he will even wash the dishes and clean up the dog poop in the back yard. Just kidding, that's not proven, but I bet it works.
What makes a guy decide to propose to woman?
Ashley and I did not date for very long. In fact, from the time we first kissed to the day we got engaged, was 43 days..... When I knew I was going to marry Ashley, I had some of the strongest and most powerful experiences of my life. There were things that tried to pull me away from her, and she from me, but there were stronger forces and influences in our lives that kept us together. I knew, that THIS was the woman of my dreams, and NOTHING was going to stop me from marrying my girl! Was it easy for me to realize such a life-changing event was happening to me, not at all. But I had faith and I knew she was the girl I was supposed to marry.
We know that every relationship, person, and situation is different. This isn't a blanket statement for everyone who has ever walked the face of the earth, so don't take it as such. Let us know what topics/relationship posts you'd like to see next!