Shyness, or Whatever.

(Instgram- @theshineproject)

Yesterday, this sweet girl left a comment on a post.

It said,

it's hard to reach out to people sometimes, 

just because I feel like such a quiet, shy person. 

you seem so bubbly and outgoing...I wish I was naturally more like that. i do. 
gonna try and go out of my way to show love to others this week.

even if it puts me way out of my comfort zone.

You might not believe me, but I used to be the shyest person you ever met.
When I was really little, I would literally want to cry if people talked to me.
So, I would just stand there, and say nothing at all.
I remember in Kindergarten, all the girls in class wanted to be my friend,
but I just couldn't talk to them.
 One time my mom came and volunteered and girls were yelling my name,
trying to get my attention... I just stood there, and looked down.
She had a long talk with me after about how I need to be friendly, and be nice to people.
But she didn't get it. I wasn't unfriendly, I was shy.
And I'd rather read books and write down my feelings, and stories of my dreams,
than talk about them.
I was probably the only  8 year old girl who couldn't wait to get home to write.


I was always really insecure with myself.
For some reason, oh forbid, I was scared that if I did or said something weird,
that I would get made fun of. I also didn't want people to not understand the things that
were the most important to me. To solve that problem, being quiet was just the best thing.
This went on for years, even in high school.
I had a lot of friends, but was especially shy around people that I didn't know.
In fact, to be honest, I still struggle in large groups of people sometimes.
Some people took this as me being stuck up, which was completely opposite of how I really felt.

When I got to college, I realized something.
I realized that I would never live the life that I wanted, or affect people that I wanted to help,
if I kept to myself.
 I knew that being shy was trapping my talents inside me,
I wanted to change.

Naturally, I'm not an outgoing person.
It's a choice that I have to make everyday.
Because I've made the choice so many times, now it has become a part of who I am.

Just yesterday I was outside reading, and an old woman strolled by on her walker.
I stopped myself from yelling, Hi! How is your day going!?
Because I didn't know her, and I didn't want her to think I was crazy.
On her way back from the mailbox I thought, wait, what?
 Get over it Ashley!
So I yelled to her, and she was so, so happy that someone took the time to talk.
Sometimes, I still have to consciously think about making an effort to be outgoing.

Going out of your comfort zone is hard, it really is.
Oh, but it feels so great to conquer that thing that you feel holds you back.
Perhaps it's not shyness, but a million other things that you struggle with.
Not everything comes naturally, and if you're like me, a lot of things don't!
But when you practice them, ask for help, and make the choice to change, it will happen.

I view challenges as blessings.
If I was born naturally outgoing, I wouldn't take as much time
seeking out those who I know feel uncomfortable, or are scared to voice their opinions.
I understand how they feel, and have been able to connect with a lot of people
who struggle with making themselves heard.
If I was born naturally outgoing, I probably wouldn't have clung to writing growing up.
My passion for it grew during that time, because it was my escape.
But there's a time and a season for everything,
and sometimes you have to pack your bags and bid farewell to the thing 
 you have become comfortable with that you know holds you back.

And then suddenly, you'll go from being so shy that you pee your pants when a stranger
merely glances at you,
to being excited to speak at a conference full of 1,000+ people in Dallas next week.
There's no one stopping you, but you.