Monogrammed ring-c/o Personalized From Me to You, leather wrap- c/o Payton Woodcraft
beaded bracelet- c/o Nakate
Change brings a new feeling into life. One that only comes every now and then,
and makes you remember why you put off feeling it again for so long; it's scary. And fun. And really scary.
It's the way your heart starts pounding with excitement, or is it nerves? I think I'm learning that it's both. That you can be excited and so nervous at the same time that your heart begins to grow its own wings and take flight out of your chest because it doesn't want to be trapped any longer. The thing I love about humans is that we like to plan for change. Like that's even a possibility or something. I guess it makes us feel better to think that we are in control of having absolutely no control. At least it makes me feel better, but I'm a type A personality so everything has to be under my control or I freak out. But maybe that's the beauty of change. Is that is just happens. It builds us and breaks us and makes us fight harder. When we fight harder, we learn more about the strength that we have from within. Strength that we didn't even know existed before.
Sometimes change comes from a direct decision we make, or, the change I hate the most, because of stupid decisions that other people make. Um, hello Mr. Change My World. I didn't ask for this, but because you decided to turn the world upside down, it affects me too. There's also the kind of change that you know will eventually happen, but it seems so crazy and far fetched that you're absolutely shocked when it finally does. I think that's how Mike felt when we got engaged. But he got over it, and it was the best change ever. And then, there's my favorite kind of change. The one that creeps up on you out of nowhere. It starts with a little whirl in your stomach, and your heart beats faster the more you think about it. Weeks go by and that little pitter-patter is still leaving its imprint on your insides, and you realize that it's time to make a move. A move that you've never made before, so it's really scary and exciting and fun and just plain crazy.
And right before you do it, right before you jump off the edge and you should be screaming and crying and wondering why, you find yourself sitting in the midst of peace. In reality you should feel like the world is crumbling beneath you, but you don't. You don't because this is the right kind of change, and even though it doesn't logically make sense, it does emotionally. And our heart wins the argument with the head, and you begin to embark on something beautiful. That is my favorite type of change.
And I am ready to embark. I'm ready for a crazy stinkin adventure.
(side note because I feel like it is going to be said and thought a million times: No, I am not pregnant :) )