I always go out of my way to stay out of the girl drama. In high school I pretty much surrounded myself with mostly guy friends because they were so much easier for me to get a long with. I steer clear of clicks and groups and have always had a great eclectic mix of friends.
In high school I had a really good friend who had a lot of the same feelings that I did, and we just clicked. She was a bridesmaid in my wedding and we went through a lot of things together. But this is where the story gets kind of sticky. For the past two years, this friend and I haven't spoken. She had hurt my feelings really bad and I had gotten really upset. I'm really easy going when it comes to that kind of stuff, because I hate drama, but this time I couldn't shake it off. So last year when my friend asked me why we weren't talking very much anymore I told her. In a huge fat long text message. I told her everything, and expected that she would take ownership of her actions, and then we could finally move forward. But that text back from her never came. I waited. And waited. And it never came.
Until 4th of July of this year. She text me and told me she missed me and was remembering a previous vacation we had taken on that holiday together a few years before. I hadn't heard from her for a long time, and got upset again that she thought she could just never address what I had told her had hurt my feelings so bad the year before. I was running through the rain, it was a chaotic day, and I just never took the time to reply. I didn't know what to say.
Yesterday I decided that I would text her back. It was the first time in two years that I reached out to her again. She asked why I hadn't been talking to her, and I told her that after she disregarded everything I had sent her about how she had hurt me, I figured she was done and that our friendship was over.
She didn't have a clue as to what I was talking about. She never got the text. She didn't even know how bad she had hurt me.
An hour conversation and a whole lot of making up later, I realized a very important lesson.
We all hold grudges on different things, and people, and experiences that have happened to us. We gossip and get snoody and relationships get ruined because if it. I think that a lot of the time, the person who has offended us doesn't even know it. I've been on the other side of the fence too, when I completely hurt someone's feelings and had no idea until they told me. Clear communication is so important, and expressing ourselves to the people that are close to us is the only way that we will be able to strengthen our relationships.
Yes, there's a lot of people who do mean things just to do them, and don't like you out of jealousy and whatever else... But there's also situations in which your offender might not even know it.
Gosh I'm so happy to have this friend back in my life. Two years lost is a long time, some of you might have a streak that's even longer. Make it right. Swallow your pride.
And don't do it over a stupid text message.